Patiently Await with Anticipation

Full FF

People don’t see the process behind great and/or desirable things. They see the instant gratification. Things don’t just happen over night…it is usually a process that requires much care and consideration. And if it does by chance happen over night then at that point it will require the same care and consideration at an accelerated rate, without a system currently in place.
I have people constantly tell me that they live vicariously through my posts and travels. I go and do fun things. I have cool toys. It has taken a lot to get where I am at. You wouldn’t want to be me a few years ago…but I did something consistently that got me to this point…I made the best of my circumstance everyday rolling with the punches as they came and I trusted that God would provide for me and restore my life. Over time I began to dream again. I began to cast visions of what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. I haven’t diverted from them and so I have or am going towards those things. I travel because I saw myself traveling. I’m gone almost every weekend because I saw myself getting involved in new things and staying busy (I began this vision with #dosomethingneweveryday everyday for a year). I went through a season where I stayed home. I went through a season where I did the bare minimum to keep myself sane. Now I do the maximum to keep myself sane! Ha!
I caught up with one of my best friends a few days ago. We met up at the mall before it opened and walked around watching a group of mothers push their strollers and get in a workout while sharing our short and skinnies about the new events of life since the last time we saw each other. Life gets busy. I used to see her all the time. When I was going through the divorce, she fed me everyday to make sure I ate. She always had a patient attentive ear to hear me and what I was processing. Gentle words came from her mouth as she encouraged me and pushed me to be better. She talked me out of some bad feelings. She was in the trenches with me during the worst season of my life.
The other day she said one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. She truly touched my heart and challenged my perspective. After our mall trek away from the sun’s death stare, she thought about a lot of the things I brought up during our walk. I had expressed my increasing satisfaction with single hood; how the longer I’m single the more I’m ok with it. I like spending my money how I want; leaving when I want; doing what I want; spending my time how I want; not having to have the apartment super clean all the time. I’m really getting to the point where I cannot imagine living with someone again. I like my routine. Sure there is still the hopeless romantic within me that dies everyday…but maybe she’s a little over dramatic anyways…😏 I don’t NEED anyone…I make enough money for my necessities and a lot of times for my wants too. I’ve become more independent than I ever expected to. And now I can even cook some really tasty meals on my own!
I started dating my ex-husband towards the end of college. I never really lived on my own and relied only on myself to pay the bills and provide everything. So this time of independence has been super empowering and fulfilling.
My friend sent this to me the next day and instantly had me thinking…“Talking with you yesterday made me think of something. I wish that someday, you will get married. Not necessarily that you need a companion when you’re old and grey, like we were discussing. But for another reason. I would love for you to be loved! Not that you aren’t, by friends and fam, now. But I mean, fall in love, and have someone fall in love with you. It would be something that I would wish the same for my daughters, or sisters (if they weren’t already married). That you can feel that experience. Not saying that any future relationship would be a perfect love. As you, and I, and just about anyone who’s been married knows, that loving feeling doesn’t always manifest itself in every tricky situation. But, to be “in love” is a special feeling, and I wish you get to experience that with a forever love! I guess that’s what they call a heart’s desire. My heart’s desire is that for you!”
A great marriage takes a lot of work. If you see one and want what they have just know that there is a system in place. There has been trial and error to get to that point. Being an observer you don’t get to see the work behind closed doors. And it takes TWO people…not one. A great marriage can be achieved by any two people that have the same goal of having a great marriage. I’ve had a taste of what it takes to be married. I inhaled the pain and disappointment that can come along with choosing to be with the same person for a lifetime. And truly to be that connected to another human being…there is nothing else like it on earth. To find something and someone worth fighting for day in and day out…unmatched.
My friend reminded me of this part when she shared her thoughts with me. You can spend your whole life traveling and seeing and experiencing the coolest things…but you might find there is something still missing. Someone to share it all with. I’m excited for my future and I patiently await with anticipation, seeing the faces of the cards as they fall.
Thank you Gabriella for the spirit you embody and for selflessly caring for those around you. You are a once in a lifetime kinda friend and really more like the older sister I never had. My hope for you is that you reap 10 times the greatness you have sown in others throughout your life. Love you Friend!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s